Habits

Sinking

Underneath the water’s surface

Floating on a boat towards nothing

Only to look at the sun’s horizon

As I sit wishing my mouth were not as dry

Probably from my own actions

This is what forgetting to drink water can accomplish.

Thoughts and hallucinations revive from a dark place.

In the back of my head

I go there to often circling around the drain.

Looking for new ways to torture myself with

Repeating useless thoughts

That never seem to end.

Putting habits to extinction

Is when problems burst.

Exploding the stars above me

I will keep my head above water-

Even when there is no finish line.

Or land to seek.

That is okay because I only have one job.

That is to keep going,

For as long as I can.

Elevation feels effortless like walking on clouds.

Fluffy and light as I start to forget,

Almost forgetting what struggle feels like.

Until I turn my head and I see the saltwater whispering to me

And I design a tattoo to map out all my travels.

The good the bad the nightmares

There are unexpected detours still but that is okay.

Predators to watch for

For humans, a lot of times it is just yourself.

How beautiful the ocean water looks from here –

How easy it would be to test the waters.

And get lost in an endless void of time.

When things are less structured and forced

Time does not exist in a world of chaos.

But I don't want the clear sparkling water to fool me-

Note to self: there are sea monsters in those waters

That will scoop you up and bring you back.

To those dangerous old ways…